pmr oh pmr

Brader sorang tu xdapat straight A. English nye B. Bye!

Liquor Store Blues *xpepasal*

Esok result pmr keluar. Tapi aku punya cuak mcm aku yg amek pekse. Tido mlm pun mimpi2 adik aku ni dpt 8A ke x. Haihh. Just pray fer d best. Dia da usaha. Tapi maybe sbb pressure kn. A week before pmr, ayah aku pergi. Die xbole perform well ke time exam. Aku xtau lah. Esok pagi2 aku nk duk tercangak kt skola die. Tunggu pengetua dtg bwk result. Pheww. Aku yg risau lebih. Adik aku duk relax kt luar tu sambil on9 and nyanyi lagu Grenade. Grrrrr. Ok, tata.

*Off to Seremban

Overthinking leads to negative thought

Aku ade satu fobia dimana aku takut kalau pegi jumpa doctor ke, pegi klinik or hospital. Tak kesahla gov hosp yg burok nk mampos and servis sucks tu or private hosp yg ade aircond, cantek mcm rumah bagai tu. Aku xsuke. Aku takut doctor. HAHA. bunyik mcm lawak. Tapi ini bukan cerita dongeng khayalan di alam fantasi tu. Ini betul2.

Pagi2 buta tadi ibu da kejut aku suro bwk nenek pegi klinik. Sbb nenek ckp dia saket perot. Sbb nye, dua tiga hari lepas perut dia terlanggar bucu katil. Aku dah mcm 'aiseh org tua ni, da dua tiga hari baru nk ckp saket'. Aku da gelabah xtentu pasal la kan. Mase on the way tu, aku da doa mcm2. Jgnla nenek ni ade pape. Aku xmao nnt doc tu suro refer hosp sume. Aku xnk. Aku xnk pegi hospital. Lagi2 hosp melaka yg puaka tu. Aku da serik. Dulu, ayah admitted sebulan dkt situ. Tp xde perubahan pon. Maken terok ade la. Dari bole jalan smpai xbole jln smpai gune wheel chair kalau nk bergerak. Mmg puaka kau tau?

Smpai kt klinik, aku duk luar je. Tibe2 atuk dgn adik aku keluar merayap. Dah tu, xkn aku nk tinggal nenek sorg2 kt dlm. Aku pun masuk. Elok je aku duduk, nurse panggil nama nenek. Aiseh, aku la ni yg kne bwk nenek masuk dlm bilik doctor ni. Relax2. Dlm otak da pk mcm2 ni. Tulang rusuk nenek retak la, jgn umur xpnjg la. Haishh. Aku belum ready lg nk hadap kematian sape2. In the family la maksud aku. Aku belum betul2 kental lagi. Belum2. See. Aku fikir bukan2 byk sgt kan? Paranoid.

Then doc check2 perot nenek, die tny itu ini. Die geleng2 kpala. Haishh. Suspen btol. Pastu die suro nenek xray. Bile xray da siap, die bg la tgk. Mmg nmpk mcm laen sikit bahagian tulang tu. Mcm xbalance. Aku da cuak. Doc ni pulak lame pulak die tilik xray tu. Then ttbe die ckp 'tulang makcik xde apa2. Xretak, xpatah'. Pheww. Legaaaa gila okay. Xpayah pegi hospital. Yeay!

Sbb tu kalau aku demam etc, kalau kawan2 aku suro pegi klinik, aku xkan pegi. Aku buat pekak je. Sampai diorg da mls nk suro2. Tp bile xde org suro, aku rase mcm xde org care pulak kn? Tapi aku mmg xsuke lah. Aku lebih rela demam tu baek sendiri, drpd pegi klinik. Lambat pon lambat la. I don't care.

Aku memang keras kepala. Kau pedulik apa?

Money are nothing

Happiness isn't about money. It is every little thing around you. Love and appreciate everything. They are God's gifts.

Things I've to take out

Kalau kau rasa mcm aku meratap sangat pemergian ayah aku, you're wrong. Aku redha. Tp xkan aku bole teros lupa dia kn? And aku xkan lupa dia smpai bile2. Sampai aku mati pon, aku takkan lupa. Kalau kau org break up dgn boyfriend / girlfriend pon, berzaman2 nk lupa kn? Inikan pulak kau hilang orang yg besarkan kau, sekolah kan kau. Yang bagi kau makan, pakai and everything. Perit tau tak?? 21 tahun aku hidup dgn ayah. Its just that, skarang tgh sem break. So, aku xjumpa kwn2 aku. Aku xde puts dgn bieha dpn mata aku yg aku bole cerita sampai menangis dlm kelas, dlm keta, kt ruma sewa, kt shopping mall. Sume tmpat aku bole menangis. T___T. Aku xsuka cerita dlm phone ke, skype ke. Sbb nnt org bkn dgr aku cerita. Org akan dgr aku menangis je. So, belog ni jela tmpt aku bercerita. Xkan aku nk menangis depan ibu pulak. Mesti die pon sedih nnt.

Pernah sekali tu, aku baca yassin dgn ibu n abg aku. Ibu pny suara da laen da masa baca. Aku seboleh2 tahan air mata aku. Tp xbole. Aku menangis jgk dpn ibu sambil baca yassin. Lepas benda tu jadik, kalau nak baca yassin, aku mesti elak dari baca dgn ibu. Biar aku baca sorg2 dlm bilik. Biar org xnmpk and xtau aku menangis. Ibu slalu igt aku kuat. Ibu slalu ckp yg dia akan kuat kalau tgk anak2 dia kuat. Sbb tu aku xbole menangis dpn dia :p

Sejak ayah takde, aku tido dgn ibu. Jadik peneman. Before tido, msti akan ada pillow talk dgn ibu. Ibu mesti cerita pasal ayah. Tiap kali dia cerita, mesti aku sebak. Tapi aku tahan je. Kdg2 kalau xtahan, meleleh jgk air mata aku dlm gelap tu. Org bole ckp kt aku 'be strong or tabahla or wutsoevs' tp org xrasa ape aku rasa. Kau bg aku duit juta2 pon, xsama nilai dgn org yg dah pergi. Sampai bila2 pun, xkan ada org laen yg bole ganti tmpt ayah.

*Sori lah kalau kau rase bosan bace belog aku lately. Asek cerita pasal ayah aku je kan? Kau ape tau? Kalau kau bosan kau remove je link belog aku dkt belog kau tu okay. bye!

T____T

I hate that feeling when you see something and for that second, you feel your heart drop, and your throat swells up and you feel tears in your eyes and you just can’t speak. You can’t do anything but stare. And then it sinks in and it’s this unbelievable feeling in your chest. Like it’s collapsing on you. And all you can do next is cry. I hate that feeling. Seriously.

Fire burnin'

Arini, ibu suro bakar tilam yg die salu tido dgn ayah aku. Maybe sbb die asyik teringat2 kot. Xpulak aku tanye. Skarang ni mata aku asek berkaca2 je. Sensitip. Xbole org ckp lebih2 sket. Aku cengeng kan, mojo?

Every single day

Every day, I think of you. Every day, you cross my mind. Every day, I see something that reminds me of you. Every day, I'm missing you. Every day, I wish you were here. Every day, I think of why you left us. But every day I'm also getting stronger. Every day I'm moving a little more on. Rest in peace, dad. We love you.

may be

I may look strong on the outside but not in the inside.

I really miss you, ayah.

Al-Fatihah

You'll always in my mind.

Ni gambar mase konvo hari tu. Ibu n amer yg masuk dlm dewan. Sebak gile bile tgk member2 sume mak dgn ayah dorg yg masuk. Ape agaknye perasaan ibu bile die tgk orang lain sume masuk dgn husband dorg, Tapi ibu masuk dgn anak die. Kalau jumpe dgn ayh2 dorg, msti aku salam. Rinduuu taw nk salam n cium tgn seorang ayah :(

Dulu, mase ayah sakit2, aku salu bg die semangat bia cepat sembuh, so that nnt bole pegi konvo aku. tp tiap kali aku ckp psl konvo, ayah mesti senyap je. Agaknye die da dpt rase yg die xbole pegi kot :'(

p/s : Smalam, 14 December ialah anniversary ibu dgn ayah. Happy 25th Anniversary, Ibu.

another p/s : Bile mkn prosperity pn teringat ayah. fav die dulu. Haihh. Sume benda yg aku buat pn mesti teringat kt ayah. Appreciate your dad, pleasee. Nnt bile dah xde, menyesal pun x gune.

Al-Fatihah

tiada rezeki

kau tau, sebelum ayah aku 'pergi' die penah mintak nak makan rojak petis. aku pegi carik dekat pasar malam, tp xde. 2,3 minggu jgkla aku pegi carik. tapi xde jugak. padahal sebelum2 ni ade je belambak2 org jual. lepas tu, ayah aku 'pergi'.

afte 2weeks die pergi, aku gi pasar mlm. pastu aku nmpk org jual rojak petis! mase first2 nmpak tu aku TERberdiri kaku sekejap kt tempat aku berpijak tu. start drpd tu, everytime aku gi pasar mlm mesti ade org jual rojak petis. aku rse mcm nk hantuk2 je kpala si penjual tu dkt tiang payung tmpat die berniaga tu. rasa macam tahi gilaa kau tau x? aku tanam bnda ni je dlm otak dan hati ; tiada rezeki.

Al-Fatihah.

RIP

Its been 42 days. Bila makan bubur mcd, I was thinking, how much ayah loves it. Sampai hari2 terakhir dia pun, dia still nk mkn bubur mcd tu. And that is the last food that he ate before he left us. Forever. Al-Fatihah.

p/s: I miss you BIG time! :(

double p/s: I just want u to know that I'm proud to be your daughter.

its been a long time yaww!

You're gonna lose people in your life

& I realize

that no matter how much time you spent with them,

and how much you appreciated them, and told them so,

it will never seem like it was enough :|

empat empat

fatin a.k.a car-mate a.k.a clsmate ber sem2,

happy 21st bday!

may u have a prosperous year ahead!

God bless!

p/s; aku dah mls nk fikir psl org. bye.

3yrs with 'em

exam's time table is out!

i m counting days.

i m trying to spend my best time with my buddies.

deep down in my heart,

i m sad. fucking sad :(

nuff said.

ok. bye.

it's our jobs!

p/s ; creds to ida rahim untuk entri yang ini!

stop thinking :|

"When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can either let it define you, destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you."

p/s ; aku rase mcm da tawar hati. sighs.

i am

dua bulan

Hari ini lima belas haribulan tiga. Dua bulan lagi jadik lima belas haribulan lima. Exam tamat juga mungkin pada tarikh yg sama. Jadi, tinggal dua bulan je lagi nak menetap di bumi Bangi ni. Dua bulan untuk menghabiskan masa dengan kawan2 yg best dan bermacam2 perangai. Tapi takpe. Itu semua mematangkan aku. Dua bulan. Bukannya lama sangat. Mungkin ada yang gembira sbb dah nak habis belajar. Tapi tidak pada aku. Aku sebenarnya xberapa pasti kenapa mesti ada entri mcm ni. Aku buat sebab tiba tiba hati aku rasa sayu bila fikir pasal ni :(

*obtw, i am moving to this.

empat belas haribulan tiga :)

chescos sayang,

happy 143 day!

saya sayang kamu semua!

to the others,

the friends of mine,

the people who always be by my side,

i love you guys too :)

go on annoy me

you create. you solve. thank you.

love everyone, trust few, harm none

Sometimes a smile and silence can be the best life tools to use.

A smile will help to solve your problems,

and being silent will help you to avoid problems.

; I think i should mind my own business. Ignore the other's.

if blame ppl makes u hpy, continue what u do BEST fer u.okai?

I am still here. SMILING. because i, seriously don't want to know what the hell is going on!

; kau mmg malaikat. xpenah buat salah! heh

kamu!

You make me smile when I think I can't.

You make me laugh when I don't feel like laughing.

You know who you are!

xoxo

p/s; mmg susah kan nk puaskan hati semua org??

visit indonesia

pegi mkn bakso di pasar malam belakang ruma.

bakso terhebat abad ini!

yeehawww

good luck babes!

sorry fer the late updates. i'm such a busy woman lately. ahaks!

she was flying off to melbourne, aussie.

goodluck and all the best, cousin!

she was flying off to auckland, new zealand.

take care and all the best, wann!

buzz me whenever u need me kay!

*they're off on the same day but diff time.

i send my cousin. sorry xdpt anta kau wann!

hey, soul sistah!

Never shall i forget the times i spent with you;

Continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours! :D

shine the lights

p/s: aku rasa mcm xde motif je entri ni

february nine, thousand ten

happy 21st birthday babayy!

i love you soo much :D

p/s: aku xjumpe pix kau sorang2. haha

its friday babay!

venue; kelab tasik cyberjaya

no cls on friday. so, bile da xtaw nk buat ape, inilah hasilnya :)

we loves chicken and chicken loves us :)

venue; KRR alamanda, putrajaya

friends are kisses blown to us by angels

i m missing you.

i mean, the OLD you.

:D

thanks fer always being here by my side.

u guys made me strong each and every day.

love :)

he is THE real gentleman!

The event was held at Sunway Lagoon Surf beach. The drained out the beach for the concert. So, we were like standing in a dry swimming pool! LOL!

Show was opened by Najwa. She is a talented singer with a booming voice. But we Malaysians didn't seem to appreciate opening acts. Very impatient lot. I heard a lots of boos and mock yawns around me!

Ne-Yo performed his strings of hits among others - Because of You, Sexy Love, When You're Mad, Go On Girl, Miss Independent, Mad etc. Some songs I am not familiar with. hee

So Sick is my favourite Ne-Yo song! Can't get "that stupid love song" out of my head! Yup!

He was sweating buckets! It was so hot and humid. I was sweating buckets too! We all did!

I enjoyed myself tremendously at the concert! Ne-Yo has proven that he is not only a talented singer songwriter but he can rock the stage too!

I m looking forward to seeing this gentleman in KL again :D

hpy bdy :D

roomie,

hpy 21st bday!

may u hv a good and prosperous year ahead :)

143

new year's eve

location ; mutiara damansara

happy new year guys!